The words I didn't get to say.

There are so many things going through my head right now that its hard to put into words.  I came back from Ecuador on Tuesday and later this week, I started school at Brigham Young University Idaho.  Let me just tell you that I did not want to come back.  I wanted to just stay in Ecuador, I wanted to be with my babies for the rest of my life.  Leaving Ecuador was THE SINGLE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. Im sure there will be more trials later in life will be just as hard, but at this point in my life, leaving my babies is the hardest.

I cried my last day, all day.  I didn't want to leave.  I cried when I had to say goodbye to Andres and all he did was smile.  I cried when LuLu told me "te extrano mucho" which means I will miss you.  I cried when I told Camilo goodbye and he touched the tear running down my face.  I cried when Emily waved to me the last time I saw and her and she said "chao." I cried when Sara gave me a huge hug.  I cried when Sor Alba told me thank you for everything and told me to never forget these little angels and to never forget Ecuador and to come back soon.  And I cried when I was walking out the door for the last time and Jorge came running to me and clung onto my legs and said "Chao, Shala" and then gave me a beso.

They changed my life.

If I could tell them and they would understand, I would tell them that I loved them more than anything.  I would tell them to never let anyone tell them that they are anything less perfect.  That there are so many people that love you, you may not know it but you have touched so many lives and you will grow up to be amazing people.  Your Father in Heaven loves you and if you always remember that, you will never be alone.  Always choose to be happy.  Life is tough, but you can get through it, it always works itself out.   Live Life to the fullest.  Follow your dreams and never let anyone tell you, you cant do something.You may not remember me, but I will never forget you.  You will forever be in my heart and I will praying for you and thinking about you always.  I love you so much and I will miss you always.

I left my heart in Ecuador.  Oh Heavenly Father, help me and please keep those kids safe.

A song that I like to listen to when I am missing them is called "Never Alone" by Jim Brickman, sung by Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum.  Here are the lyrics and a link to the song:

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

Well, I have to be honest
As much as I want it
I'm not gonna promise the cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fear surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fear surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

I will never forget your beautiful faces and spirits.  I will love you always.